Re-Assess Your Stress

Recently, I was having 'one of those days' where everything seemed to be conspiring to create a Perfect Storm of Stress. The stressors seemed to build on one another, with each difficult situation triggering several more. I don't need to go into particulars here--if you've ever had a day with such stressors, you know what I mean. It could be the phone call delivering bad news that makes you late to an important meeting, causing you to speed and get a ticket, and finally show up to the meeting extra-late, sweaty and agitated from stress, and flustered rather than focused. Or it could be the flu that sent your child home from school miserable, spreading itself around the family, effectively canceling plans and requiring make-up work at school and at work. You get the idea.

As I was relaying the day's stressors to my husband (he's a great listener on bad days), I realized that none of the stressors I was facing were a major threat to my safety or lifestyle, and that a simple positive reframe could put my day back on track.

That realization changed everything.

Having plenty of experience with the positive reframe (once I catch myself and put it into practice, that is), I am quickly able to see many positive events from the day that I'd missed, and better appreciate the day as a whole--especially the portion of the day that happenes after my little shift.

Because I was grateful to have realized the role I could play in relieving my stress right on the spot, my day was transformed back into a much happier one, as I'd been expecting it to be. I was also inspired to share the technique with you. The following articles can help you to become adept at using a positive reframe when you face stressful days like the one I was having.

How have you pulled yourself out of the depths of a bad day? What are your favorite quotes or reframe tricks to find the positive in the negative? Feel free to share in the comments section (subscribe to the RSS feed if you want to see follow-up comments), or on the Facebook page About Stress Management. And if you want to brighten someone's day, you can pass this along via the 'share' button. Enjoy your day!

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To Do This Weekend

Have you been meaning to get around to trying new routes to stress management, but haven't found the right time? How about this weekend? I'm challenging you to find new techniques and strategies now because it's always good to have several tricks up your sleeve for coping with stress. Sometimes we all find ourselves dealing with unexpected stressors, and having proper coping strategies on hand can take much of the stress out of what could otherwise feel like an overwhelming situation.

So, if you have a favorite way to relieve stress, it's nice to have a backup (or two). If you have a strategy for preventing stressors from entering your life (like saying no to new commitments), it's nice to have a few. If you have a few words of wisdom that help you cope during tough times...well, you get the idea. This weekend, I invite you to try something new that will expand your stress management repertoire. It's fun, and it'll help you to more effectively cope with unexpected stressors that may come your way. Here are some options to try: Basic Stress Plan
Not sure where to start? Here's a basic plan for managing stress. See what you have covered and what you may need to add to your current coping abilities in order to have the right kind of stress management habits to help you to handle whatever comes. How To Deal With Stressors
Although every situation is different, there are some basic strategies that can help in dealing with most stressors that may come your way. Here's a basic game plan. Too Busy? Life Plan Strategies
If you want to cut down on the amount of items on your daily to do list, it's helpful to know what's important to keep in your life, and what can be dropped. Here are some tips on making the decisions that can limit the number of stressors you experience on a daily basis. 5-Minute Stress Relief Strategies
If you're already feeling stressed and want to reverse your body's stress response so you can lower your risk of chronic stress, these strategies work well and they work quickly--a winning combination! See which ones you're already doing, and what might be nice to try this weekend. 25 Stress Relievers
Need more ideas? Here are some fresh ones. Go down the list and pick something new--you'll be glad you did! What are your best strategies for relieving stress? Share in this reader response article on stress relieving strategies, in the comments below, or discuss on the Facebook page About Stress Management. And if you've found this helpful, please pass it on to others who may need some fresh stress strategies, too (via the 'share' button). Have a great weekend (and week)!

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Reader Wisdom on Simple Living

Up until a few years ago, it seemed that there was a lot of competitive buying going around--many people were amassing stuff they didn't need, in order to have as much or more stuff than their friends. A small number of people were interested in simple living--generally for the stress relief benefits that a simple lifestyle can bring--but for the most part, people were more interesting in getting more. 'Keeping up with the Joneses' was commonplace.

Now that there's been an economic shift, this attitude seems to have shifted as well.

Now that people have less disposable income, 'frugalistas' have replaced 'fashionistas', and many more people are interested in paring down and saving up. And that's a great thing for stress relief; it's much easier to relax when you're not dealing with the stress of debt, and those of you who know about the toll of clutter already know how paring down can bring stress relief!

Now, rather than competing with one another for the title of 'Who Has The Most/Best Stuff', we can work with each other in sharing strategies for saving money, paring down, and living simply. Here are some simple living strategies that I recommend for stress relief, and the following are some best practices that other readers have shared: Life is Short
"Be realistic about how many books you are really going to re-read and how many of your dvds you will ever watch again. Are there cds you never listen to? When I went through mine I thought to myself life is short, how many of these do I really want to spend time on again. I ended up taking quite a lot of them to the charity shop. There are a few things I wouldn't part with but, to be honest, mostly once stuff has gone I don't miss it." Clean the Closet
"I found this idea in an on-line post. Box up every bit of clothing that doesn't fit and put it away. Now when I open a drawer or door I see only clothes that I can confidently and comfortably wear. Wow!" Spend Less
"I just spend less, and that helps with everything. I get less 'stuff' coming into my house, I stress less about finances, my house stays less cluttered. I know it's a common one, but it's popular for a reason!" I love it when readers come together to offer support to one another. See this article on simple living strategies to see more reader responses and to share your own best tips on simple living, and see this section for more Reader Response articles on other stress-related topics.

I'd also like to invite you to join my stress management page on Facebook, and subscribe to the free weekly newsletter if you aren't already a subscriber. Make stress relief a part of your daily life!

Additional Resources for Simplicity:

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Relationship Research and Stress Relief

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Small Changes, Big Results

Sometimes something small can make a huge difference in your day.

Have you ever had 'one of those days' where something happened in the morning--you read a frustrating email, you were awoken early by an incessantly barking dog, or your alarm doesn't go off on a day when you can't afford to be late--and this puts you into a mood that's at once frustrated and frustrating? You snap at people, you miss opportunities, and you push a growing snowball of stress around in front of you, which changes your whole day. One small thing led to a largely different day than you were expecting.

Fortunately, things can go both ways with this one--something small can also stop stress in its tracks, or lead to a better-than-anticipated day! Small stress relieving activities really can lead to big stress relief. Read on for more on how to find the simple changes that can turn today into a better day for you: Simple Steps to Managing Stress

More Quick Stress Fixes:

Have you found a small change that made a big difference in your life? How did that impact your stress levels? Feel free to share in the comments section (subscribe to the RSS feed if you want to see follow-up comments), or on the Facebook page About Stress Management. And if you found this post useful, please consider passing this along via the 'share' button. Enjoy your day!

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Good Advice on Stress and Sleep

Have you found that stress affects your sleep? Many people who are under heavy amounts of stress find that they can handle it during the day by keeping busy--too busy to think about the things that cause them anxiety--but once the lights are out and the distractions are gone, everything comes flooding in. Others have noticed this pattern and keep themselves so busy that by the time they get to sleep, they're exhausted and fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow--only to find that they haven't gotten enough sleep the next morning when the alarm starts blaring. What's the best way to get a good night's sleep when the stressors seem to be closing in?

Here are some better sleep ideas from other readers:

My solution is that you read a book, drink some cold milk, or, tense your body up very hard, then, let it go. If none of that works, do this: Start to write a story until your had is very tired and you can't keep your eyes open. Hope this works!!! :)
-Qwerty

Think about what you are going to do tomorrow, and then try making it something happy and turn it in to a dream.
-Bridge

Something that I do is I get up and start exercising if I can't sleep. Because usually, you can't go to sleep if you are too stressed or not all that tired. Another thing you want to do is pray to God or just chant his name over and over again. That works for me.
-Get Tired

Not surprisingly, I have some tips of my own, which can be read in this article on better sleep strategies. What's your best advice for getting to sleep when stressed? Share in the comments section, or in this reader response article on what to do when you can't sleep.

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Eat, Pray, and Love Your Way to Stress Relief and Fulfillment

I recently saw the movie Eat, Pray, Love, the true account of one woman's year of travel to Italy, India and Bali in a quest for fulfillment, self-discovery, inner peace, and healing from a recent divorce. The movie was a treat to watch--it included beautiful sights, pleasant adventures, a few nice insights, and a bit of romance. I'm sure many people who saw the film wished they could have more of this peace and self-fulfillment in their own lives. However, most people don't have the ability to take a year out of their lives to find themselves around the globe. Luckily, that's not absolutely necessary.

Read how Eat, Pray, Love mirrors important concepts from Positive Psychology, and how to get some of that serenity in our own lives if we don't have the time and money to travel for a year. Find ideas you can put into practice right now to make it easier to reliever stress and attain personal growth without leaving your life behind, and share ideas you come up with.

Eat, Pray, Love: The Positive Psychology Approach

Additional Resources:

How do you get pleasures, gratification and meaning in your life? Share your experiences in the comments section, and please feel free to share this with others who may benefit.

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Stress Relief for Children Ages 2 to 102

As children go back to school and we all start getting into the swing of fall, we start moving into more stressful times, schoolwise: new classes for kids of all ages, tighter routines, more responsibility. As the semester moves forward, stress over grades may creep in. Families may have less free time to just relax as sports schedules and extracurricular activities become more intense.

This stress can take a toll on kids just as stress can tax adults. It's important to have strategies for stress relief that work for children, as well as adults. There are several ways that we as parents can help our kids relieve stress, and while we're at it, it doesn't hurt to take extra care of our own stress levels as well. The following are some ideas you can put into practice starting this week for a less-stressed family (even if you don't have kids!): Stress Relief For Your Child--Or Inner Child
These strategies may have been natural favorites of your childhood--see how you can use them now for yourself and any children in your life. Clean Slate MeditationMeditation is a great stress reliever for people of all ages, though many people don't think of it as a child's stress relief tool. Here's a simple technique that can be used by everyone from young children to...well, to anyone older than that!
Cultivate Gratitude With Your Children
Cultivating gratitude can be a wonderful route to stress relief. I recommend talking to your children each night about three things that happened during the day that they are grateful for--it can help you connect, stay current on what's happening in their lives, and foster a sense of happiness in your children. Read more about the benefits of gratitude. How Can Kids Relieve Stress?
Certain stress relief practices are especially conducive to relieving stress for children. Read about how drawing, breathing exercises, and several others can be effective tools for stress management in children. Readers Respond: Top Stress Relief Strategies for Children (And Their Parents)
Whether you'd like to share your top strategies for children's stress relief, or for 'inner child' stress relief, many people could benefit from your tried-and-true strategies. Let's swap! Share your best childhood stress relievers here! You can also share your best childhood stress relief tips (and inner child stress tips) below, in the comments section, or share this blog post with the 'share' button. Have a great week!

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Get By With A Little Help From Your Friends

We all deal with times of stress and crisis. How wecope with our personal challenges can have a significant impact on the level of stress we experience--especially chronic stress, which is the most damaging type. When crisis strikes, how do you cope?

Speaking as a 'stress management expert', I would say that the first line of defense against stress in times of crisis is to check how you perceive what's happening to you, and try to think like an optimist. When I say 'think like an optimist', I'm not merely throwing out a vague suggestion that you 'try to be happy'--there are specific thought patterns that optimists follow when facing challenges and stressors; pessimists have opposite patterns. (Follow these tips to develop traits of optimists, and test your level of optimism now, so you can know where you're coming from--you may be surprised!) A quick strategy to keep in mind is to try to see potential stressors as a challenge vs. a threat.

I would also suggest that you find supportive resources in order to manage your situation and experience minimal stressors in your life while you're going through tough times. In times of stress, the people in your life can be the most helpful resources: they can offer supportive ears (and warm arms), creative solutions to problems you face, and practical help in the form of dinners and the like. (Perhaps this is why research shows so many benefits of social support.)

I would also recommend that you maintain at least one (but preferably as many as you need) way to relieve stress that really works for you. It could be meditation, exercise, music, or prayer. Just find something that works for you, and make it a regular part of your life.

These are my recommendations as a stress expert, but personally, we all have our own ways of coping with stress. Effective coping usually involves a combination of strategies to address thoughts about the situation, a mobilization of resources, and some ways to calm the body in the meantime, as mentioned above. However, the specific strategies we choose may differ from person to person. I often try reframing and gratitude work, talk to those I'm close to (my husband and best friends), and try to get plenty of exercise, try to keep up with prayer or meditation--and have a stash of chocolate (which I only recommend as a stress reliever in small doses). For others, a different combination of stress relievers would be the winning combination, though it might be similar.

I recently asked readers to share their strategies for coping with crisis, and have received some nice responses so far. Read responses from other readers who have great ideas, and please consider sharing your own tips that work. Remember, when it comes to the stresses we face in life, we're all in this together!

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